This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
