worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
