Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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