R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
