i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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