yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
