omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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