so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize