Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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