Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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