Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
