Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't turn off my feet"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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