She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
