Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
