scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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