Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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