He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize