Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize