I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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