Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize