Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
