Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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