I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Two words: blizzard sex
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
