dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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