I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
