she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
