He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
