Need sex. Gaining weight.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The ass gains better be worth it
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