do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
