So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
