so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
