Even water is tasting like jack daniels
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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