god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's shark week go big or go home
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
