So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
