one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize