Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
