wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize