Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize