this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
