3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
