Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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