you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
