Acid is not a monday night drug
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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