how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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