I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
