hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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