Whod you bang
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
