this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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