I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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