Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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