Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Randomize
