He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
