well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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