I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
