also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
