where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
