Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
