porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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