You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize