Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
