Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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