it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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