What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
