remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
