You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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