so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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