i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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