Three words: puerto rican gang bang
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
