hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize