Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
