So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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