We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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