did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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