69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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