He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
